belief in heart

还是觉得要写些东西，这网上还有个blog等我去填。

似乎有回到了小学的时候，每篇文章都是在老师的要求下写的。

不能再这样妥协，要吗写篇很烂的东西，要吗就不写。可惜都不是我最好的选择。

所以，只能妥协。

咋妥啊？

今天突然想，不念书，我指的是真正的念书，这两年会成为我很大的遗憾的。我花我青春的五分之一，在毫无意义的事情上，这投入产出比可是怎么也不能让人满意的。

其他不说，我实在怀疑，如果我在这读两年书，真的能到硕士的水平。 I doubt it. Actually, I don’t have that
confidence to be a real graduate student. Partly for the faculty here, more
important, it is me that keeps resisting learning. What I did here makes me a
living dead body. Always in the internet, finding useless information,
entertaining by myself…

Don’t I feel any sick of this?

I go to church, I confess to lord. No, even lord himself can’t save me. God
don’t help those who give up already but those who help themselves.

Focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.fovus.fovus.fovus.fovus.fovus.
fovus.fovus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.
fous.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.fucos.focus.focus.focus.foucs.foucs.f
ocos.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.focus.fuocs.fucos.fucos.fucosu…………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

心中已没有信仰，没有追求。上帝，在我心中，已死了。

May the lord be with you.

And also with you.

Raise your heart to the lord.

I will raise them to him.